Where Did My Financial Self-Esteem Go?! (Part 1)

There are two life events which gave my financial self-esteem a mighty blow:

1. The covid pandemic

2. The breakup of my marriage

And if you're wondering what a financial self-esteem is, it's the value someone places on themselves based on their present financial position. (I talk about this and more in my book My Money & Me).

I can't help but wonder if it was more my financial ego than my financial self-esteem that was hit the hardest.

(A moment of transparency here).

Thankfully I am now in a place where I am realistic about what I am able to achieve.

Now let's get back to my money story.

I remember when Barbados were alerted of our first Covid case.

Could I be real with you? I panicked. But then I took a trip down optimistic lane and thought this will pass over really soon. We're a small island. There couldn't possibly be a huge spread.

Then we were on lockdown.

If you're in entrepreneurship, you know the rule. When you work, you're paid.

This forced me to get creative and come out of my comfort zone.

But before I tell you how I navigated my way forward, let me tell you how this impacted me.

Fear came. Knocked on the door of my financial self-esteem.

How are you going to make money?

Who told you to go into business? Look at you now.

I should apply for a full time job.

These thoughts swirled around my mind, but I had a decision to make.

Am I going to let fear continue to ride me or am I going to take action and keep moving?

So I became adaptive:

1. Zoom became my very best friend. I hosted client meetings online. I also spoke on panels via this platform.

2. Online banking became the most frequent method I was paid.

3. I explored another revenue stream. This definitely took me outside of my comfort zone, but it stretched and challenged me for the better.

4. I recognised what was truly important and what I could do without and get later. This has helped me take my budgeting practice to a whole new level and has pushed me to practice gratitude, even when I didn't feel like it.

I will admit, there were times I felt guilty and condemned because I was experiencing turbulence as someone who talks about money, but I have come to these two resolutions:

1. My ability to help others isn't suddenly diminished because of something that is out of my control. Even while going through it, I can still show up and do my job.

2. What I am experiencing and growing through will help me understand where people are at, and help me to be able to relate to who comes my way on a deep and personal level.

Because this is all part of my money story unfolding.

Stay tuned for Part 2.