Did I Do That?

"Did I do that?"

If you grew up watching Family Matters like I did, you knew that meant someone really messed up big time.

Ladies, do you ever feel this way when you make bloopers with your money?

Retail therapy feels good at the moment you're feeling down.

"If I just buy this one thing, I'll feel better about myself."

These words I used to rehearse to myself to convince what I was doing was right.

A couple days later the same pair of earrings I bought were falling apart before my very eyes.

"Did I do that?"

Before you think I am telling you it's bad to spend money on yourself, I am not.

We're supposed to enjoy the money we work so hard for. Every woman is allowed to pamper herself once in a while.

So how do we as women find balance with our spending?

It starts with recognising the behaviour behind the spending.

Note I didn't say it's your behaviour, it's a behaviour.

If we take ownership of the behaviour, we could allow the behaviour to define us.

The example I gave of myself was my demonstrating my need at that time to have things. I relied on things to make me feel like someone. I had a very low self esteem at the time. To boost my self esteem, I turned to spending.

That high I would feel after making the purchase would soon return to a low.

I since then learned how to become happy. Happiness is not a feeling, it's a decision I make daily, to be happy.

There are a couple of behaviours/feelings I would like to highlight which could get in the way of us moving forward with our money:

1. Comparing Yourself Unfairly with Others: Feeling discontent could lead to unfair comparison. You might feel bad about your situation feeling everyone is ahead of you and forget you've already accomplished some major milestones.

2. Being Fearful: In present times like these with the pandemic, fear would be the emotion everyone could be experiencing. If I don't focus on what's right I am not going to be able to function. So I have to always to focus on what's going right and not on what could go wrong.

Could we still have goals and look forward expectantly to the days ahead?

Absolutely.

The behaviour we have the tendency to exhibit (also, competing with others, being discontent) could be the driving force behind the way we spend our money.

To change the way we spend, the first step would be to raise our hands and admit,

"Yes, I did do that."

I've written a book, My Money & Me which looks specifically at how you could change the way you behave with your money and win with your money. You'll find a budget template you could also work with and basic financial plan you could create to begin or renew your money journey. It's available via Amazon Kindle for only US 9.99.

Consider having a read during this lock down period. You'd be amazed how your money life will turn around.

I would love to hear from you.

What are some struggles you experience with behaviour and your money? How have you overcome?